Saturday, April 23, 2011

"Next to the wound, what women make best is the bandage." ~Jules Barbey d'Aurevilly


Wife: Look at that drunken man!

Husband: Who is he?

Wife: 10 Years ago he was my boyfriend & I denied him from marriage.

Husband: Oh my god, he is celebrating till now!!!!


A clever elderly woman decided to have her portrait painted, so she told the artist, "Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, an emerald bracelet, and a gold Rolex."

"But you're not wearing any of those things!" the artist pointed out.

"I know," she said. "It's in case I die before my husband. If he remarries right away, I want his new wife to go crazy looking for the jewellery." 


As the bus pulled away, Janet realized she had left her purse under the seat. Later she called the company and was relieved to find out the driver had found her bag. When she went to pick it up, several off- duty bus drivers surrounded her. One of the men handed over her pocketbook, two typewritten pages, and a box containing the contents of Janet's purse.

"We're required to inventory lost wallets and purses," he explained. "I think you'll find everything there."

As she started to put my belongings back into the pocketbook, the man continued, "I hope you don't mind if we watch. Even though we all tried, none of us could fit everything into your purse... and we'd like to see just how you do it."



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