Saturday, December 22, 2012

I AM SORRY MOM I CAN'T FIGHT MORE…

I still remember mom when once you and dad asked me what I need to do in my life I replied you I will reduce the pain of other’s people and I became a physiotherapist so that I can try my level best to reduce the pain of others. But today I am not able to resist my own pain.
Doctors are slashing my body parts for the fifth time like they were never the parts of my body…it is paining a lot mom I am not able to breathe properly and they attached me with oxygen cap please tell the doctors not to give me the anesthesia mom I am scared I don’t want to close my eyes.
If I close my eyes it takes me to that scary phase of my life where I was being cut into pieces I was just a bunch of flesh which was being continuously chopped by those animals. Those faces were very scary mom they were like those hungry animals who were biting at every parts of my body.
I don’t have courage to look myself in the mirror. Mom please break all the mirrors nearby me please take me to bath I want to bath I want to sit under the shower for years mom so that I can wash those inhuman touch which had made me to hate my own body I tried to go towards bathroom but my stomach pain didn’t allow me to move myself.
I can’t raise my head to see you standing outside through door glass. When someone enter in my room I feel very scared mom my heartbeats gets faster my eyes searches for you please be around me. I don’t want to be alone mom these medical
instruments beeps are haunting in my brain they sound like those unhelping traffic sounds which muted my cry and pleads which I was doing that time mom. The silence of this room is remembering me that silence when I was thrown on deserted road I don’t know what happened but I was feeling very much cold in the same way like a person shivering with very high temperature.
Mom do you remember once when dad slapped me in childhood how much you fought with him until dad didn’t brought my favorite chocolate…where is dad mom I can’t see him...is he ok mom ??? Please don’t let him cry mom. Do you remember once how dad got angry on you when you used to shout on me only for anything but they have beaten me and my dearest friend with some metal it was paining a lot mom I saw how he was bleeding to save me but they were coward rascals they kept on beating him together till he didn’t collapsed and then they scratched every parts of my body repeatedly mom.
You always taught me to fight with the difficult situations but I am very weak in this situation please hold my hand I want to sleep please put my head in your lap please wash my body give me some pain killer my stomach is paining please tell doctor not to cut more parts of my body its paining a lot.

I am sorry mom I can’t fight more……